Legacy of the Wanderer
Genre:
Fantasy, Horror
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Fire stolen from the Gods… An apple eaten in the Garden… The Legacy of the Wanderer is that of forbidden knowledge. It is the evolution of Mankind from lump of clay to tainted child, but with the help of another… some entity, punished after the fact. Wrongfully or rightfully? It may be impossible to answer that question without knowing why they interceded at all…
The dark rumors that manage to trickle out of the Vale are enough to chill the blood and keep the curious at bay. Notwithstanding the rumors, the land is so isolated that only the most inquisitive and intrepid even attempt to plumb its depths, and few of those return. The tales they tell are dismissed as fever dreams, suited to scaring children when they misbehave… Tales of near impenetrable forests stalked by beasts not seen outside the Vale… Tales of primitive tribes that feast on the flesh of men… Tales of black magic and twisted evil.
But that is only part of the mystery of this Vale. There are those that know some of what is actually taking place in that wild land, but none know the whole truth. The plans of a thousand years have ripened. All the pieces are finally in place, but now a new player has entered the Vale, ignorant of his role. An outsider who carries within him the lore of the Wisdoms of Bysshe and who wields power coveted by another… But it is his will that may influence the course of the Legacy of the Wanderer.
First off the art is great, really impressive. The story was pretty good too a little bit new weird fantasy genre with the bat-man creature and the search for lost knowledge. You did jump around a bit story-wise, so that it seemed a little disconnected. I don't mind the main hero coming on for a 1 screen cameo, but it wasn't really that well set up. Only 8 screens hurt you on this, as far as pacing goes. 3/5 stars.
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SCREEN 1 Loved the backgrounds and the angle you chose for the shot, really very nice. Good screen composition. I hate text boxes. The text here didn't really grab me, you might have been better off of going with the mystery of opening silent. The colors are really nice, and the letters are very readable. The synopsis was the over view/theme/mood of the story i would have preferred more characters be mentioned just for name I.D.
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SCREEN 2 The bat-man really does remind me of a new weird style character. I really enjoyed the layout of this screen, and the text boxes here really served a good purpose. I liked the fear on the creature's face, and the old evil priest face was very well done, really creepy.
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SCREEN 3 I really enjoyed the layout here, and I so loved 'the master' dialogue on this screen. I also liked the messenger hinting around for a reward, -no a boon. Good dialogue here.
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SCREEN 4 Nice impact splash of seeing his wings spread out, and good insight into the master. A good job with the dialogue here, and the layout.
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SCREEN 5 I liked the scream in the background. My guess is you plan on making the bat-man the guy from the beach's side-kick? I liked the focus in these 8 screens of being on the bad guy, but you didn't forget to show -at least- the readers the good guy(s,) nice call. I liked the other pet monster, and again on this page the text made sense.
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SCREEN 6 The endgame has been joined is corny as hell! Other than that pretty nice insight into the villain, but it seems like here you done in a screen what could have been done in a panel. Pretty art-work though.
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SCREEN 7 The man on a beach. Too much text boxes, it didn't tell us anything new, it could have been a mute (no words) screen, and had the same level of impact, maybe even greater.
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SCREEN 8 So the guys name is wisdom. The re-use of the word perspective got to me, the stuff about went well with the synopsis, but the poser screen here was kind of a decompressed waste of a screen. Different layout, less text, it could have been a panel on screen 7.
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I liked a fair number of things about this story, but too many text boxes, and not much of an impact to end on, and only a little mystery. Again only 8 screens really hurt you folks. Hope to see you in the contest again.
I really enjoyed this and felt that you're building to another eight pages. Hope you make it. You get my vote!
I like the drawing and ink style.
Well written and executed but would've loved to see more action in a newly introduced comic.
I love fantasy, so this is right up my alley. The pacing is superb, just little peeks of what could be to come. It did a great job of building curiosity, and the art nailed the mood perfectly. I really felt like being at the start of a great adventure.
I like this. Not enough solid fantasy on Zuda in my opinion. The art is strong- good draughtsmanship,rich colour, good detail and a solidly designed. The down for me would be the slow pace and slightly over blown writing. maybe trying too hard on that front. You've got my vote this month though! good work.
The art, color, and mood are great on this. I'm surprised you're not higher in the rankings! You've got my vote; this looks the most polished and professional of the entries this month. I'm not crazy about the font in the caption boxes, but that doesn't take away from an interesting concept! I hope you continue this somewhere else if you don't win!
Dear Zuda Competitors/Creators,
I’m the creator of the Zuda fan blog, and I would love to interview all of this month’s creators. If you would be willing to answer 5-10 questions, to be posted on the Zudafan blog, please contact me at: zudafan@gmail.com.
Feel free to check out the blog: zudafan.blogspot.com
Thanks!
~Liz
Love the color on this! I could probably learn a thing or two!
very good art
Why should you vote for this comic?
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http://mpd57.wordpress.com
nice work here, I love the art and colors, the written is a little over written for my taste, and I think that maybe you can improve the letters a little, I enjoy the comic and I think that you guys have done one of the best and more professionals entries of this month.
That is uncanny...
As for the last page air guitar, taking the jawline, muscles and tattoos into account, I'm thinking Rage Against the Machine, specifically Tim Commerford. :) - check this picture for a match:
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http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b126/Inslaved/TimLakland.jpg
http://zudafollower.blogspot.com/
and... is rand a reference to WOT?
That series is freaking long man.
Thanks indeed everyone for all the supportive feedback.
quasilucid- That us exactly what we were thinking after receiving some feedback about our story. Should have started at page 8 and pitched right into the action. Live and learn.
Great artwork and character design! I like the color too, but I think the start is a little slow. Good luck!
Gorgeous art. Great designs. Might have liked to see screen 8 be screen 1 and start the story from there. Good Luck!
I see where you're going. Not a bad idea, now that you've explained it. It would have felt more pulpy if you'd kept the captions in a regular location, like on a scroll or across the bottom of the page.
Thanks for all the feedback everyone, both positive and negative ;). We were going for something a little 'throwback' (forget Silver Age! think Golden or pulp lol). Not bad for a first try -- learning a lot.
@ infernalbbg -- Last Page air guitar!! Awesome... WHat tune though? Looks like he might enjoy some old Black Flag or soemthing.
You got my vote this month. Very nice. The story is great, but I found it a bit over-written. When I first read it, the caption boxes made my head hurt a bit. I read it through a second time, pretending the caption boxes weren't there, just reading the speech balloons and it was much better. Your images are doing a great job of telling the story - you don't need to add all the high-concept stuff - it's cool that you've developed a rich background for the story, but it's best if you let it support the story instead of rushing to share it with the audience.
As I said before - I loved this - I voted for you - I hope to see more of this!
Congrats on making it into the competition. The artwork is very nice and the coloring compliments it well. The prose is very well written, but I find myself wondering, "Why is this a comic?" I think it's clear that your entry suffers from a multitude of ideas and a dearth of story. Reading your High Concept, I have no idea what this comic is about. Reading your Synopsis, I'm even more confused. You have eight screens to introduce a world, establish one or more interesting characters and introduce a conflict. That should be priority one...not writing the best prose imaginable. You may have an epic tale as grand as your words here, but audiences are fickle. You have a limited amount of time to grab us, and you didn't quite do that here. On the bright side, you've got a strong command of the language and talent as a writer. Best of luck and keep at it.
The art is pretty top notch, but I think the script bogs the overall effect down a bit. Nice entry!
The art and the mood of the art are good, it tingles with anticipation!
Whadda ya reckon, last page, air guitar? ;)
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Art-wise this is my favorite entry this month. But it definately suffers from grandiosia, the acute condition of trying to appear to big for its boots. Stories like this one struggle with the Zuda format because it's hard to imagine them concluding within 120 pages, let alone 60. Perhaps aiming at telling a small arc that belongs in but merely hints at the larger picture might be the key? Who knows.
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And for the record, when stranded on a deserted beach I'm more prone to ponder the eternal question of how much I had to drink last night, or maybe the sand in my crack. But I guess I'm just not really an existential philosophy kinda dude. :)
Fantastic art and great colours! Not the type of genre I'm into but I thought the writing was done well too.
Good luck!
The guy on the bottom of page 5 looks like an Uncle Frank I used to have. I say "used to" cus we lost him... or misplaced him I should say. For all I know, he's been chained up in a medieval tower all these years, forced to do the bidding of an evil sorcerer. Whatever the case, we're glad to be rid of him. He had deplorable table manners.
I really dug the premise, but the writing was lacking. Not so much as flow and word usage, that was great. It had the flaws in early comic writings, even Silver Age, when writers would state the obvious of what the art is already portraying. Which, by the way, the art is wonderful. The dialogue had me, but the narrative seemed unnecessary. It could've done with some snipping, or better, internalizing the character(s) more by using their thoughts.
I gave it 3 outta 5 because it needed some things, but the it was still a decent premise.
Great Faces and Creatures. Liked the gray border space and the text box colors. Great Work.
The art is pretty excellent. I like the colors, too. The writing reminded me of Frank Herbert-- good ideas, but pretentious and long-winded.
I voted for you, this is very amazing. :)
This is awesome! I don't understand the negative comments.
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There's plenty of story here and I'm sure there's plenty of action ahead.
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You've got my vote. Good Luck!
script 2/5
art 4/5
total 3/5
I hate it when I find myself pondering the eternal question, Fate vs. Free Will, what is the lot of Man? It's at times like that when I realize I don't have enough fun in my life, and I need to get sloppy drunk fast.
Pretty comic, though!
I really like the art. The writing not so much. All the teasing just didn't grab me.
Oh, Christ this is boring and heavy-handed. Pretty much everybody else's comments have hit the nail on the head about the crappy story, but I also didn't like the art. It wasn't horrible, but I think that it was a case of good coloring saving sub-par drawing. Also, a lot of what is going on is confusing. What's going on with that bat-guy? Who is that other beast guy? Fewer text boxes wouldn't have saved this.
fantastic art. good premise. lacking story.
This is some really professional quality art work. Unfortunately there isn't really any story here, just loads of narration. I'm not saying that the story isn't good, I don't know if its good or not. You just spent so much time trying to make everything sound grandiose when I didn't really have an emotional attachment to any of the characters yet. I think this is an example (for the narration anyway) where less would've been more.
Great artwork and intriguing story, good luck!
Reminds me of Doug Mahnke I think (a little maybe).
Most certainly one of the eye-catchers in this month's competition. Kudos on the artwork :) I will give this one a few more read-throughs. Congrats on getting in and good luck :)
Great artwork and coloring. One of my favorites.
I disagree with Reuben...lol. I find this story pretty good and the art is good too. The colors are consistent with the artwork, and vice-versa. I wish we could have seen the Lady in one of these eight pages, though. Best of luck this month, it will be interesting.
wow i really dug the art work... looks really good... it seems you have a good story line set up for it.
Not bad. The art is really good and so was your pacing.
Lol, Edit: Oh duh I get it, that dude is the monster.
Good luck, I just get frustrated by entries that are all teaser for a story that we`ll probably never see.
Last screen is sick obv.
Lacked any action, and the non-existent story didnt make up for it. Looks like your main character was in the story for one screen. How am I supposed to like someone I know next to nothing about?
Artist did his best but there was nothing here to salvage.
interesting,... like the art, the mood, and the characters..
good luck:D