Punchboys
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Three brothers, Prometheus, Chris and Jon, who live in a small orphanage long to be powerful fighters, like the characters they see in anime, games and comics. One day they discover three pairs of magic gloves that give them amazing powers. Unfortunately, the gloves belong to Autumn Witch Hilary, who then attacks the boys. They defeat her but in the process, their orphanage is destroyed. They then decide to enter a fighting tournament in order to use the prize money to fix their home. However, in order to get to the tournament they must cut through a living forest and face off against many of its denizens, some who become their allies, and others their enemies. Once they finally reach the tournament they end up fighting against a former friend and in the process realize there's more to being a hero than just punching things.
VERY glamour!
I agree with Majin Pat. This was just good ole FUN. Looking forward to seeing more from you Rashad!
Rashad,
Great podcast about PUNCHBOYS!
http://seqalab.com/?p=120
thanks for the kind words guys
I can't remember if I made a comment already, but if not then I will again. What I love most about Punchboys is that it captures the art of simplicity. I know a lot of people think complex panels, multiple subplots, and super rich backgrounds are all you need (I'm sure you can do that) - which is cool and all, but I think it is more challenging to make a comic that just relies on being fun. FUN! Plain fun. I think that's a bit forgotten now a days..
Could it use more? Maybe, maybe not. But I definitely got what you were doing and the fact that you made it this far shows that it works. Fun rules all :)
-Pat
I like the art style. It could use maybe something more going on sometimes in the background. I really love the color. Its a really good attempt. I give it three stars. I hate to repeat the others, but yeah, the story seems a little sparse. It seems that you're trying to lead into a cliff hanger since the essence of zuda is that it is an ongoing serial, but there could be a bit more dialogue, or some more history, and not just the lead into an inevitable fight. I want to know why I care about the lead characters (other than they're orphans). Good luck.
Hi, Rashad! It's Hannah from down the hall :)
Congrats on your work! It looks really great.
Just got around to checking this out. Surprisingly light on story.
.
––Jernell
thanks for the comments, especially considering i think you guys' work is very good.
urgh...sorry for the double/err triple post...freakin browser was loading when I posted comment...
A couple of years ago, this would have been a comic I'd be really into. A lot action, hot chicks, and little dialogue. Its like a guilty pleasure. Very dynamic panels and artwork and you have a nice style to it!
A couple of years ago, this would have been a comic I'd be really into. A lot action, hot chicks, and little dialogue. Its like a guilty pleasure. Very dynamic panels and artwork and you have a nice style to it!
Just getting around to checking out Punchboys. I really like the energy in your artwork! Cool, dynamic splash pages. This submission probably would have benefited from a little more story in the eight pages (just as mine probably would have benefited from a little less talk and a little more action.) You've definitely got talent.
thanx for the comments guys
What's wrong with being a keyboard hero?????
Great attempt, Rashad.
I think me criticizing on your story content would be pretty hypocritical, but even for a manga paced story, this is spread a little thin. The majority of this community i'm assuming expects a fair amount of volume per page, not necessarily in a panel count or dialouge sense, but more with the progression of the story.
If you ever attempt to enter zuda again, which i highly encourage you to do so, then try to give your entry a start, a climax and a "the end??" so your story has a nice curvy body all the kids will want to look at and vote for.
best of luck, Rashad.
p.s. you're doin a great job tolerating the keyboard heroes on here. Just remember, it's only the internet :]
I know the tone in my critique was mean spirited, but if you read it all before getting upset you'll see I made the point of too little story. Which begs the question "how far can this go?". The rest of my comment is just mean spirited. I know that and don't apologize for it. I do this for a reason, and if you can't handle my comments (which Rashad did admirably) how can you expect to handle the main stream world? So props to Rashad for not getting snarky back at me.
Wow, would you believe that some of the comments on here are just a small result of lil old me?! Shocking.
I'm not here to cause a ruckus, just here to state my opinion, which is something that this site seems to be used for. DShide, sorry if for some reason you got offended by me using the word "kid" but I was in no way, referring to you. So... chill. And if you wanna see some of my artwork, maybe we can make that happen... who knows? (shrugs)
But allow me to back up and say what needs to be said, comments like "I don't know why this made the cut," "Not great," or "cliched...anime...kinda boring." Well those comments aren't helping anyone... I know it and alot of other people know it. So why not try for more appropriate helpful and probably more appreciated critiques.
From Rashad's Homeboy Friend,
Errol
I really am not sure why this made the cut. Super dynamic art yes - story, no, visual storytelling, no, creating interest in your audience using anything but candy, no. Where's the meat in this entry? all I taste is fat on my steak. Too bad though, since some potential in the artwork. Funny to see the reverse trend here – it’s often nice writing poor artwork.
SUSANO SEZ:An Ok pitch, no story, that's it?
You know I'm a critic, but thank you for the answer. :)
hey rkb,
i always intended this comic to be in the Zuda format. however it was a new process for me, and combined with how i normally create comics, came off to some as a little short on how much information i'm giving. i'm a huge fan of widescreen style comics, that are more about moments than trying to fit in alot of panels on a page.
that being said in the case of this comic, i kinda wanted people to want more, in hopes that it would make them want to read more of it. and because i wanted to spend a little time setting up what will lead into alot of zany fighting. I'm also keeping in mind the tone of this story. this was intended to be a fun comic about kids learning that all that stuff they see in anime, cartoons and comics is not as cut and dry as they thought. but at this point in the story all they want to do is have fun, so i thought having alot of panels detailing more of their motivations would hurt this story.
now did i accomplish this? maybe maybe not, the beauty and lol pain of making comics is that it's a constant learning experience in trying to master visual and written storytelling.
How could anyone think the critical comments on here are flaming the comic???????????????????????????????????????
Are you kidding me??????????????????????????????????????
Lots of question marks i know, but I felt them warranted.
If you really want to see (kind of) flames on the Zuda pages read through the comment section of This American Strife, assuming those remarks didn't get redacted like the ones on P for D.
Rashad you do seem to be taking the criticisms in stride good for you, but some of your homeboy fans (I guess they knew you, or your work before Zuda, or maybe you just made a good first impression) need to suck it up, and be more like the guy who's comic they are a fan of.
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If anyone thinks those (i.e. my) comments are flaming you've never read through some of the boards i have -sheeeesh!!!!!!!!!!!
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Rashad, on another topic i don't think you have commented on this (or if you have feel free to copy/paste), did you do this comic just for Zuda, or did you have the print world in mind and cut it to fit here. The last full page shot seemed really off??? Plus layout wise it looks like some of the other comics (lots of white space on the screen) that have been cut to fit on Zuda.
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i appreciate the comments guys
hey rashad,
keep your head up man. there's a lot of folks on here flaming you, but just keep that classic rashad positive attitude.
**CRITIQUE**
i know from firsthand experience that your pencil work is awesome. i just think your inks may have hurt you a bit here. i don't think the answer is necessarily more panels per page, and in zuda, you can't have a terrible lot happen in a comic unless it can go very quickly or be covered in aspect-to-aspect narration. as far as giving "little to judge," i don't really know what people were expecting. as far as my opinion, maybe you should try just adjusting levels on your pencils and color those and keep inking aside. i know i have the same issue with my stuff. also i'd like to see more backgrounds.
*sigh*...welcome to "mainstream" comics i guess (d-bags flame warring on your comic page). you know, VERY mature. truly, this is the olympus, the apex to which our talents can carry us...heheh. something tells me this flaming is only the beginning of the raucous indignities this petty industry has to offer us.
i'm really glad you went out and made it this far though. flaming or no flaming, you've done well, sir. don't let ignorance get you down.
...no, it isn't awesome...at all... I'm not a huge anime fan, but there are certain shows that I dig(Cowboy Bebop and such). I just found this to be...whats the word...cliched...anime...kinda boring. DShide, man...I totally agree with you. Powerpuff Girls...hah, nice.
FUN!
I love the art. The story lost me a little, I want to know more about this world. Great energy.
It's very fun and energetic. I think your art style is a lot of fun, but I got confused with the narration. I thought the witch was narrating all along because the narration begins with "These are my brothers" and all three boys are in the panel, thus segregating the witch. It seemed like a fun little story about sibling rivalry at first.
thanks man
Nice work Rashad, just want to say there is no rule against using big splash pages, you can use them and be effective in storytelling. Just look at what Jeremy Love does in his Bayou work. Now, that is not to say you do that well here. In order to make it work those panels have to TELL the entire story. Your most effective page is screen 7, big splash page, but something is going on. Your other screens rely too heavily on the script to tell us what's going on and it's all exposition and characters posing. I'm with you on using 1-3 panels per page but only if they're filled with enough story to give us a sense of wholeness... does that make sense?
Yes, I finally post. I couldn't for a while, but the techno-elves fixed that. Hi Zudites, happy April!
Great art, but a bit brief, so I didn't really get to grips with the story. All in all, a good read.
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The moderator finally posts !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(just kidding ;) really nice to see you)
thanks for the comments guys, but let's have a good time. as for feeling like you want to see more of this story, well that was kinda my intention. I figure since their's going to be big chunks of this comic that's going to be fight scenes i thought it was a good idea to spend some time building up to it.
as for my panel layout, i'm a big fan of less is more, on a typical comic page I usually don't go over 4-5 panels, mainly because i feel like the page can get too cluttered. of course because of this, my linework comes into question. all i can say to that is that slowing my kinetic hand down has been a long time battle. believe me it was wayyy worse back in the day. and on some level i like the messiness of it all. i know in cartoony comics you're not supposed to be messy but i think it adds more energy to my work.
that being said, i truly appreciate the helpful comments and will definitely keep them in mind. as some of you might know, creating comics is a never-ending battle of trying to figure out not only all of the elements of drawing, writing, coloring, etc. but also trying to piece together what people want. so this so far has definitely been a learning experience. if any of you are interested you can check out more of my work here http://kross29.deviantart.com feel free to discuss what you want, i'm always willing to hear what people have to say.
Hey folks (notice I didn't say kids). Just want to chime in here and remind everyone to keep the criticism constructive, and about the work, not each other. In other words, keep it clean and be nice!
Dude its cool to want to offer some advice but chill the f**k out. Just because you have a computer and access to a place to leave comments doesnt mean you should go around slamming people. There a strong ass difference between trying to help someone and being a jealous ass
Good energy as always. I want to see what happens next!
Some of the critiques may be helpful to you. Others...
Let the poosers have their say, you get a vote from me, and maybe some props on my D.A. page to get the word 'round.
Keep the hammer swingin' Young Bro!
Not great.
This really started off strong but I feel like you didn't put all of your pages to good use. The pictures are all very large which draws more attention to the shotty linework, which is a shame because I really do love your use of so many bright colors.
Rashad: You might want to tell your friends such as Captain Ahab their words here reflect you. When a friend of yours call the regular Zudites "kids" your placement will reflect this. Just a friendly warning.
Captain Ahab: Hmmm I sense some ego there "kid". Maybe you should check someone's age before calling them kids. I know that you only wrote your reply because you are a fan of the pokemon BS this seems to resemble. So shut up you non-Zudite "kid". Oh and drawing to save lives would you like to test that? I know I can draw to save my life and more can you. Don't answer that it was rhetorical.
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa...whoa.
What the f**k is all this about? My boy is getting blasted by a bunch of kids who couldn't draw to save their lives. What the hell? But anyway... you did good kid, real good, but as long as I'm around you'll only be second best seeee?
-Errol-
the pacing is somewhat ridiculous but that would have been okay if there was content to the pacing... oh, and while punching stuff (really hard?) is no doubt cool... i dunno about the whole "these gloves are awesome"... why are they awesome?
...since we can punch stuff with 'em?
Gee all of that could have been one page of a regular comic, and two for Zuda. Did anything actually happen there. Oh wait a witch accused three kids of stealing, they introduced themselves and prepared to fight. Wow I summed up your 8 pages in a sentence. Shame on you. This might make it as a Power Puff girl type cartoon, but as a comic, no. To little to late to fit in with the pokemon/dragonball Z crowd. And here I thought all the comics were going to be good this month.
Dude I think this comic is amazing. And there are going to be people who hate out there for no reason becasue for some reason they believe they can do better. I think The splash pages went along with the theme of the comic. Over the top action. The energy is here in the comic. And finishing lines can take enery away from a comic. This story rules. dont listen to people who say shitty things man. Great comic! awesome story! anyone who hates on the way it was done has a limited view of what comics are.
thanks for the comments guys.
all i can say is that the next 10-15 pages or so is a fight scene, so i thought a little set-up was needed.
The art and colors all go well together and the letters are fine, but where is the story. It does look to me like it was cut to fit Zuda and this didn't help the strip. All those full page shots didn't move the story along, but the synopsis was a preview of what will happen. It seems like you didn't do enough in the 8 screens you had to tell more of the story, not enough panels. Like others I wanted to see more fights and much more action. The story style is not my genre of choice but i think you can find a fair number of fans on Zuda, it's just not my thing.
I think the look of the strip is excellent. The art and colors go great together. I don't, however, think that the layout of the pages is conducive to the Webcomic format. Having only 1-3 panels per "page" really slows things down. Maybe it's what you had planed or maybe this was in the comic book format and it was cropped for Zuda, but there is very little entertainment in these 8 pages beyond a really nice style.
I honesty believe that this could do well, if only you had given us some pages with a few more panels... good characters nice sense of movement but maybe a little rushed to be considered finished.