Little Inventor
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Ted is a boy that was born with a unique gift: he can create robots and electric equipment from scratch. Always walking in his father's shoes, little Ted had a great teacher that helped him to develop his abilities. But his dad was killed in a mysterious accident in his garage. Since then, Ted and his mom are alone, fighting to forget their beloved one's strong memories together, while trying to live every day’s life. Ted created Buddybot, who will become his inseparable mate as time goes by. Being everywhere together, these two will experience all sorts of situations, in adventures that may incorporate different elements such as mystery/investigation, love/passion, and comedy/humor. Ted's mother, Bianca, is a strong-hearted woman that has to take care of her child while working as a waitress in a fast food restaurant. They're a normal family that has real problems, but never give up being optimistic and true to each other. As time goes by, Buddybot will become a part of this family too, because he's "not just an invention", as Ted would say, and has a special attribute that other robots don't have. Some would call it a "soul", other would call it a "heart". But even Ted hasn't realized what kind of artificial mind he had created for *this* robot.
I think JFx is right. Perhaps Zuda is a bit more adult oriented, as far as tone is concerned. I get more of a Saturday morning cartoon vibe with this.
Is really nice, Maybe you don't have the right audience here at Zuda.
Thank you Lude!
Iggy there's obviously a lot of quality and heart put into this one... you'll find your feet, keep at it!
I like the art and the colours however you'd be better off using it to describe an adult story. To do a children's story you'd have to be much better at the English language as less in this case is definitely more (as in more difficult)!
That's funny. I wonder if Super Tron would consider this a historical comic.
This kid is destined to invent either SkyNet or Sheldon Vella.
Thanks everyone for the kind words! I really appreciate it. Thanks so much for those who made it a fav and rated it 4 or 5 stars. I'm thrilled some of you liked my comic!
RKB, I haven't done much to make my comic to be noticed -- I have to be honest, I'm in a moment of my personal life that this isn't possible.
I still don't know how it got 12,000 pageviews so far, being that the 1st place at the moment has gone on an actual tour and all that jazz and it has less than 7k views.
(please note that I *know* that what counts are votes, and I'm not comparing quality, but this has been a mystery for the last days for me, and I had to share this with you)
Loved the panel layout out too, 4/5 stars!!!
The art fits the story. The color/dotted background really stand out this month had the best color on the comics across the board. If they can kill Bambi's mom you can kill off Ted's dad. I think you actually had a great ending it gave me that click here to continue effect. *this happens with some of the comics I like to read I'm clicking for screen 9 before I realize there is no screen 9* I think if you are planing to deal more with Ted's dad death in the story and how a robot friend plays into his character you won't be called cute but generic. I want to know will he get back in school how will that go for him. Maybe like dexter but with a little more seriousness in the story as fas as Ted's life/family/school all work out for him. I don't think their is a big portion of The Zuda readership that would go to this story as something of a automatic in the running for my vote comic, which to be honest it's not in my go to genre either. That being said you made me like a story I would not normally read so you can find fans here. I don't know what kind of effort you are making to get the word out there about your comic, but good luck with your story. I'm making you a fav because you earned it from me.
This has the best page design that I've seen of any comic on Zuda. The one panel of his dad just dying was strange, though.
Yes, this would definetly work better aimed at children. And I don't think there are many children who visit Zuda. But I could be wrong. The part about his dad dying was a little dark compared to the rest of it. But hey! It happens in Disney movies all the time!
Cute and very well done.
Listen, I don't want you to take my comments as harsher than intended, because I really do think this is a great little kid's story. I agree with the comment that it'd make a good picture book or even a flip book, as opposed to a comic. However, the writing is a bit shaky. There are odd grammatical choices and a few errors as well. Unfortunately, considering the typical audience on Zuda so far, I don't think you're going to rise in the ranks, which is a shame, because with a little work, this would make a great kid's story.
I awarded you five stars, more than you deserve, on basis of creating a work for children. I can count on one hand the titles I have been able to share with young relatives.
The writing is a wee bit sticky. The jump to creating a human brain is too much stretch, for example. You would benefit from working in quirks that lend character to the dialogues and behaviours. Small, secondary items to the main plot. I think this might help.
I too like the bold art in this one. The neon colors and glossiness are something that are easily done poorly, and there's a lot of examples of really unattractive looking comics that sport such themes.
But you made it attractive, even pleasing to the eye: and that's not easy to do. I'm not a big fan of the plot, but it's also way out of my demographic (being a comic that seems to be more directed at kids).
I think it's great.
A fun little story in the vein of Jimmy Neutron -- I enjoyed it.
I feels done to me though. I'm not sure I see this as chapter 1 of an ongoing story but rather one short story in a anthology of related stories.
Hey there Igor! I like what I've seen in those pages, they are very colorful! I would though, advice that I think that some of the panels are a way too strong colors, and while the characters use similar colors in between panels, the backgrounds rarely have an uniformity between them, like, not really color choice, but they seem like a completely separate drawing from a panel to another, a different thing going on even. Aside from that, I like it, it's a cute line style, and the story was funny
Good luck!
Hey guys! Thank you for your comments. I know the story has mistakes, but I don't think anybody gets everything right at the first time, right?
What was brought up by you fellow readers was way too much for me to reply it here. I didn't want to start a whole discussion about the story itself at the main comic page, so I created a thread at the boards so we can all talk more about it. Everyone is welcome to join!
- I.N.
the page designs are unbeatable, the artwork and colors are very good. the writing is highly readable, but the nice, easy ending killed it for me. had the mom walked in on a still, murdered kid, and had the robot stared her down with red, glowing eyes, and had the mother and robot engaged in armed conflict in the final panel tho, i'd be sold on this comic.
ah man, with the dimensions of the comic this is totally like playing a game on nintendo DS.
VERY fresh amigo!
goodluck!
Well done with the visuals. The whole this is way too PBS for me but I'm sure a younger audience would appreciate it more.
Nicely done.
I love, love, LOVE the art style in this story. I'm afarid though that you are going to miss your audience here at Zuda. The story is great for children, but to an adult reader, there's nothing to hold their interest.
Too cutesy for me. Dexter's Laboratory but for even younger kids.
not aimed at me, but well done.
i liked the fact that i could read it without blowing the viewer to fullscreen.
First Impression:
I enjoyed it for what it is but it seems a little light-hitting. Definately not targeted at folks my age. I did happen to glance down at the comments this time and I'd like to echo Laemeur's sentiment. Seems misplaced in this competition.
The art is relatively good but the blue highlights on the little inventors hair might have been handled better. His hair looks like it's a strange portal opening up into another land.
The dots are everywhere. Keep the dots but perhaps make a decision on what the meaning of the dots is and limit their use to specific cases when you're trying to convey that meaning.
Japanese artists use speed lines when they're trying to convey movement. Using them in a talking heads sequence wouldn't make sense.
Just for example.
This would make a cool kids picture book.
Great colors- I like the rendering style. It has more of a storybook feel to me. It'd be interesting to see this further on in terms of story.
This is a top-notch submission, but I think it aims at a target readership that doesn't exist on Zuda (everybody read the Terms of Use when they signed up, right? Including the bit that says "The Site is offered and made available only to users 14 years of age or older.")
Very refreshing. The fact that this has a beginning, middle, and end to the submission is great.
_
Inventor, combined with Laura, resurects those questions about zuda content levels...
Good stuff here. Complete story, clean and clear artwork. If this is in #10 out the gate I can only image what kind of competition you're going up against (this one is my first read of the month).
Kind of like Jimmy Neutron and Dexter but not as fun. May be too young for Zuda....
Well, I'm willing to suspend disbelief about going to straight to college. Theres plenty of reasons why that wouldn't happen. Mother wants him to stay with kids his own age, can't afford it, etc. But the idea that the school would discipline someone for being exceptional seems counterintuitive
Kingofsnake, I agree, the suspension felt a little weird to me, unless you consider that maybe this kid has brought inventions to school before, and maybe some of them didn't work quite as planned until eventually, they had to tell him, "NO MORE INVENTIONS OR YOU'RE SUSPENDED!"
Actually, what I wonder is, why is this kid still in a grade with kids his own age? With an obvious intellect like that, you'd think he'd be up-jumped a few grades. Straight to college, even!
Peter
I disagree, I think the coloring and the appropriate use of the dotted background is the stongest thing this comic has going for it. Unfortunately I tend to agree that Generic-yet-adorable is an apt description. I don't feel much personality here, the premise it self is pretty familiar, I mean, South Park even spoofed it. There isn't anything particularily unique about these characters that appeals to me.
Also why would they suspend him for bringing a robot to school. "Look at this robot I built from scratch, it has the most developed AI on the planet" "What?! Children building advanced robots?! YOU'RE SUSPENDED MISTER!!!"
Nice art. A good strip for kids.
Generic-yet-adorable. If I would tell you to improve one thing, it would be the slight overuse of that dotted background.
Good luck!