Day of Prey
Day of Prey is © Ramon Cavalcante Lima
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A common man, in his routine, is put into extraordinary situations. He sees life in the skin of animals, as if the roles were reversed. The role of domineering (usually in the hands of the man) passes to the power of the animals and our protagonist sees himself in the role of prey. Crazy things happen to him. In the first case he exchanges place with a fish. He is captured, has uprooted his hair and clothes and, of course, is cooked. A critical commentary on the social structure of the world in relation to the manufacturing of animals - watered down with a light humor.
Wonderful. Won't change my vote but, wonderful none the less.
last week of competition...
well, i just wanted to let you know that i really like the way you've worked your comic. your style suits the script very well, and i've loved the "animal protection" feeling on it.
best luck on the future.
Nice job you really did have the most jaw dropping story, you made this work!! Only real problem is a small one, it is so well done in the 8 pages that, you make us think the story is now done... but keep trying your ideas!! Next time, tease us with a longer term story!
Thank you for comment Clarence.
It is very good to see a criticism of our work well. I can see from the criticism, you actually read the story with open mind.
The issue of the "death" of the character was conceived as a death of an animal, without morals and without penalty, ultimately it is as if the fish were just preparing his food, without major highlights or hide details. It seems that satisfied!
This is the good part of the competition. Most of 1900 people alread gave their time to read this story, we need more than that?
You've got my vote...although the material seemed familiar, I thought you did an amazing job re-telling it and keeping it fresh, sophisticated and compelling. I like the stripped down, stylized line work and aggressive colors and I think that the fact that you didn't back down from this at all makes the piece that much more interesting.
In mentioning not backing down I'm talking about the literal hook through the mouth and the graphic scaling and gutting, both of which, I think, work exceptionally well due to the "cartoony" feel of the piece. I think the gore factor in this story is handled perfectly--enough to really make the reader's eyes pop but not gratuitous and splashed all over the page. Takes some real focused story telling to make that work.
As for the resolution of the sequence, I love that the dreamer wants his little revenge on the dream-fish. I think it gives the story just one more little twist and intrigue. Reading this, I couldn't help but think of some of Gary Larson's more macabre situations from The Far Side (which, incidentally remains my favorite strip of all time).
The one repeating critique I've seen is that there doesn't seem to be a lead-in to an ongoing series. And although I agree that I don't see a tie-in or how you plan to turn this into an on-going series, based on the strength of this first installment, I don't care. I really want to see where you can take this. Without a doubt, my favorite of the bunch. Good luck and keep up the good work!
The resolution was not great and the potential appears somewhat limited, but you did get my jaw to drop more than once. Something about those early panels being so big and daring with the later ones smaller and more detailed. The reverse of logic! Eye catching style for sure - bonkers? Totally!
you got my vote, man.
i am a brazilian too and your english sounded good to me. (bom, de qualquer forma, boa sorte)
=]
This was great. I laughed out loud. I love the absurdity of it.
Pretty funny; page 7 is the best! Is there a series here, though?
Maledicta, I disagree. The last page resolved the story satisfactorily for me.
I had dream sequence let-down and I'm tired of gore, though I may be alone.
I think the problem is your dream sequence explored a scenario without resolving the adventure, so in the end, no story was told.
Cute. Funny. But I think you used up a lot of your creative space with the big splash pages or those that had only two panels per page. I liked it, but I think sliming it down would have given us at least one more story.
Very interesting your comment RKB.
Actually I try make a criticizes yes to this story. I thought it soon after participating in a great fishery. But I was very uncomfortable with the whole process knows? capture the fish, cut it off outside his internal organs ... I always thought this process very violent.
But I do not want that my story was something very seriousness, know?
And, for most people, an experience like this, that the character suffers, not change his life drastically. Most people simply pass of the fact and return to their lives without any learning. After all, it was only a nightmare.
The attitude end of the character (which is the same in other situations, but I decided not to have that name) is a small revenge, something to show the animals "the place of them."
That is, my criticism extends to the final human attitude.
In your synopsis it says "A critical commentary on the social structure of the world in relation to the manufacturing of animals" I'll take you at your word -with humor of course. I don't really know if your just being funny, or maybe your really are anti-fishing? I understand the use of a burger at first, then this guy (does he have a name, or will it be a new common man every strip?) liked what the fish did to him in his dream (a s&m kind of thing) so he switched to fish for a little twist ending. Or maybe he wanted revenge on the fish, it's sort of open to how you want to read it. The synopsis reminded me of a P.E.T.A. protest a hour or so from where I live against fishing. They were out by the court house saying fishing is murder and all that extremist vegan crap, while across the way a counter protest/ fish fry was going on. That was funny this is just kind of amusing. Drop the humor and just go with creeping people out you would be better at that. I thought the color and art was fine, your style let you pull off the story you wanted to tell. It reads like a bad drug trip nightmare crossed with the latest controversial P.E.T.A. ad campaign. So are you for fishing in real life, or against it?
Minimalist, bizarre and funny. Pages 6 and 7 are the most interesting, but come on! who eats the head of the humans? they are hard and not tasty at all. Crazy fish.
The art style is simple and it could work whit this kind of theme, but there's a lot of empty space. The colors are terrible, specially in pages 2 and 3.
i hope fish act like that in real life someday.
i like the concept of concluding a new episode every 8 odd pages. Good luck!
ahahaha, i love that scene where the guy gets GUTTED, brilliant amigo!
i can see this being an awesome daily one pager, goodluck to you amigo!
It was a nice giggle with the bizzare reverse visials. Cool.
I liked it. The art was cute an quirky, and the story was funny. It seemed a little like the gag ran a bit long, and that there really wasn't enough joke for 8 pages, but I still thouroghly enjoyed it. Good luck.
Art is excellent.
Hi to all,
Thanks for the praise and criticism as well.
First, I apologize for my English, I am Brazilian and I don't have a good field of English grammar. So perhaps the difficulty of understanding the synopsis and my messages (such and next).
Let's go:
1 - This story is unprecedented, but it was originally made in another format, I had to adapt it to this format, so perhaps, some failures of final art happened. I apologize.
2 - Some of you questioned the relevance of the rest of the story, what I understand, as early as 8 pages are, in some way, and conclusive. But I assure that they are only one kicks for a variety of situations each more absurd as the other.
3 - The frontal nude I think necessary, because here wanted man go exactly the same situation as the fish are submitted. What good that pleased.
4 - I hope the stupid refers to history, not to me, I say that is, at least, precipitate.
Anyway,
Thank you to all, for having read.
It is enough for me!
Stupid...no need for a full critique...yep...stupid.
Ah ... so quick to criticize, I say to myself. But really, this would have been funnier (more appropriate) if the character had ordered fish at the start, then been brought in for the undersea slaughter fest, and only then pushed the fish dish away in favor of a ... burger! Of course, considering that he might then be captured by a herd of whiteface and pummeled to within an inch of his life, well, perhaps the vegitarian curry would have been the best ending of all ... snicker.
I like the art, but question the possible longevity of material- that is, will this get old fast? Also, I almost feel that it didn't need the 8 pages.
First impressions:
Good. I liked your self-contained story. Great job fitting all relevant information into the first 8 screens. It matters less to me that there's no sign of where it might go than the fact that you've shown that you can start and finish a story worth reading.
There's a few 'finishing' issues with the art. You can see what appears to be the original pencil lines on the first page underneath the blacks. A few minutes spent on the computer covering that stuff up would've made a nice difference. I also noted two areas where the coloring wasn't finished. One is between his lip and the hook right before he flies into the water and the other is when he's floating in front of big fishy and his skin tone is exactly the same as the ocean water. Each of those jumped out at me.
Otherwise I think this is one of the stronger entries this month. I like it.
Freakishly bizarre.
On another month, this might be a strong contender for me, but there's a lot to like this month... brain... imploding!
Very interesting. The one problem I can see is with the small lettering. On the first page it is impossible to read without zooming. Though since it's mostly a wordless submission, I don't think it will harm it too much.
Kinda funny in an offbeat ren and stimpy/invader zim sorta way, although the material isn't exactlly fresh. I mean, didn't porky pig already cover this? Albiet in a less gruesome fashion. The problem I have is in reading your synopsis. This is fine for a one off joke, but if your entire comic is going to center around "look how bad animals have it, and wouldn't you hate it if the positions were reversed and you were treated that way" the humor is going to become stale and it's going to feel mighty preachy.
I actually would have preferred this had it not been a falsehood. Still funny, made me laugh.
Congratulations on getting the first full frontal male nudity and vivisection on Zuda!
I like it a lot. Very appealing art and it set me to gigglin'. I would maybe have preferred a more twisted kicker though. Good work!
Good luck!